Date night , aren’t I cute? Pay no mind to the scores above my head, they were from the people before us, also named Nick and Vici which is wild. Also pay no mind to the Jesus with breasts pointing to the skies. That picture is to inspire hope in the children who have birthday parties here, not amuse you and your sick, hypersexualized mind. You people honestly sicken me sometimes. In all truth, though, I was genuinely stunned the first time I came to this place maybe a year ago, and not from the mural. Normally when you do something in a different country, there’s always some kind of twist to it. Going out for breakfast? Enjoy your deli meats and bread and maybe a boiled egg. Going to the zoo? Turns out its a “people zoo” with inhabitants from every country because the Germans are a curious, scientific people who seek to observe. But this bowling alley was like a time-and-space warp into America circa 2005. Even the food was the same, which is insane. I legitimately haven’t seen mozzarella sticks on a single menu in being here for over 3 years, except for this place. Overwhelmed high schoolers give you your shoes with barely hidden attitude, all while speaking perfect English, because the alley only hires American expats. Okay, that last part is a complete lie but it’s nuts how close they get everything.
Happy to report I bowled a solid 116 in my best round, and Vici rolled a respectable 95, oh so close to that coveted 100. It’s cool though, she definitely enjoyed me talking about my score while she sat silently on the car ride home. Why else would she be so silent, if not because she was so happy for me?
Happy hump day kids, may Jesus and his voluptuous, engorged breasts bless you for the rest of this week, filling your mouths with father’s milk on Thirsty Thursday, and inciting wholesome revelry come Friday. This is my religion now, this is good.
See you tomorrow,
Nick
Nick Denardi 