Memories can be a violence upon the mind, the beautiful as well as the traumatic. Music can be link to memories not yet formed.
I used to think I may want to create things so something could last beyond me into the future. But this is hopeless, right? Universe heat death and all that? No to mention, if what I created somehow lasted until the end of time, I would not be there to see it anyway. I’ve been realizing, inspired by my thesis on David Lynch and I don’t care how pretentious this post is coming to be, that any relationship to art, consumption or creation, is not about some kind of linear ascension to something beyond time or beyond human life, but a dynamic enlivening of what is already there, exploring inner reaches of the human soul only accessible through art, which is what stands alone in the universe as completely outside materialism: just feelings, right now, in the experiencing of a self we didn’t know we were. Forgive me, I’m philosophizing. In my day the kids would call it “gay”, and now it’s definitely called cringe, but just remember new ways to think, even at the top, eventually drip down into popular discourse and may just change how you view reality itself. Ever hear of gender discourse? Started as philosophy via Judith Butler, just a theorizing of the otherness of women and construction of identity of human subjects via gender. Now, well, the conversations are probably dumb enough to make Butler wish she never wrote the stuff. Maybe one day my ideas will be bastardized in a similar way. One can dream.
My whole point is that the chase of eternity is obviously a fool’s errand, even through art. But there is another kind of dissolution of time, another infinite depth, found inward and adjacent to the human experience, and we are compelled to reach our hand in the cookie jar, to feel these things we know are inside of us, but are accessed from the outside. When we create, we access something obscure yet inherent, something that may even give meaning to this whole, terrifyingly temporary experience.
Oh, my day? Just worked. Had cereal for dinner which was solid.
See you tomorrow,
Nick
P.S. My bad if I said something offensive, if you wish to know more about my progressive yet disillusioned views on gender discourse as it stands academically (as opposed to actual individuals experiencing and making decisions in their own lives) please send an email to echarett@alumni.nd.edu
Nick Denardi 