May 9 – May 16, 2022 – Photoblog

What can I say, things keep happening! Everyday it’s like a whole new day just passed by, and they add up like one day every day, it’s insane. Well grab a seat, pop some corn, snuggle up and settle in, because this is about to get wild.

Monday, May 9

Day 1: Alarm set for 7:30am, ready to have a productive week at the office. Two minutes later, it’s 8:45am, and I have a Teams meeting to attend. Tomorrow I won’t accidentally sleep more, I will go into the office. Until then, I will deal with these tractors moving dirt directly outside my living room window. I will go to bed early, be a good human being in capitalist society, and do my work. I am a good boy.

Tuesday, May 10

Day 2: 3:30am. I lay awake on the couch wondering why I am like this. Am I on Brussels time? Am I having some kind of telekinetic vibratory boundary crossing with my friend across the ocean, also up til 4am but with his newborn baby? Am I that great a friend? Old ways die hard my dudes, that’s the real answer. I got a taste of the night owl life these past weekends and my appetite has been whetted. Home office again, DEFINITELY. But that’s okay. I will go into the office tomorrow. I’ll be well rested after tennis later tonight.

Wednesday, May 11

Day 3: Yeah, I was tired after tennis practice, but that was 6 hours ago at 8pm. I’ve been doing OMAD to slim down for wedding season; they say after a couple days of lethargy you get some energy. I don’t know. Why can’t I stop this? Anyway, I made burger, and burger was good. Home office today. Will be better tomorrow.

Thursday, May 12

Day 4: Didn’t even stay up that late. Still stayed home for home office. It’s Thursday! Thursty Thurs! Didn’t drink either but come on, we all deserve some home office time every once in a while. Also, I needed to get a suit today, for a wedding on Saturday. I don’t mind showing you this picture of me trying on a suit that didn’t fit, and in unflattering lighting, because I looked devilishly handsome at the wedding in my properly fitted suit. The shopping was not fun though, obviously a bit stressful, but we found my jacket size (which is ‘short’ in Germany) and went to a tailor for the pants that matched but were wayyyy too long in the legs. I told Vici to tip the man 5 euros for working so quickly (he had them done in one day) and she told me he almost cried when she gave it to him. Bruh, people do not tip here and it shows. Anyway, shifting gears a bit, I also experienced my first neo-nazi incident today, and it was totally not a good time. Actually, aesthetically speaking, it was quite fantastic, but only because of the horde of neighbors and good people who absolutely shit on this drunk dude for spouting off the sieg heil on our street at 1am. Also, yeah it is 100% illegal to do that here, pretty much their only non-free speech law, so I was able to witness this fat, acne’d bearded man get driven off my block by the German red and blue. Say what you will about the implications or ethics of this next statement, but there’s nothing like a common enemy to rally a community together. My neighbors feel more neighborly now. Although, I’m pretty sure the nazi was saying something very similar about common enemies, so that leaves me in a murky spot. Regardless, I am thankful for the scene, and that this man had a miserable ride down to the station. That’s a lot of excitement for one night, I think I’ll do home office tomorrow to recover.

Friday, May 13

Day 5: Mission failed, five times over. An entire week in home office. But yo, I got my work done. We still had a killer week. Worked until like 6, actually, then just braced for the storm that is German weddings.

Saturday – Sunday , May 14 & 15

The alcohol began flowing at 2pm, and it did not stop until 4am. According to my tally, I had 4 glasses of champagne, 2 aperol spritz, 1 shandy beer (called radler here), 1 regular beer, 2 glasses of wine, 2 vodka mate’s (like vodka redbull but 40% less caffeine), 2 gin tonics, and 1 vodka tonic. Somehow, some way, I did not puke. And for a guy who puked before dinner at the last German wedding he was invited to, I am very proud of this fact. Toasts were made, dances were danced, and food and liquor were imbibed. Being a +1 is always a great time, and this was no exception. At 4am about, we called it quits and called a cab, which took us from this tiny village in the middle of nowhere back to the city. I woke up in a stupor, already on my feet, stumbling over cobblestone on my way back home. The cab dropped us off blocks away, as we were not the only ones in the ride. At home, at about 5:15 am, my new suit was tossed haphazardly to the floor and my brain turned off before my sweet tender cheeks even hit the pillow. Waking up at 1 pm and doing nothing until sleep again at 11pm, well, that was the day, and that’s all you get.

Monday, May 16

Ladies and gentlemen: we did it. Goddamn it we woke up like real adults and walked our spoiled butts to the train station and went to goddamn work. Going somewhere, doing something, this is what tricks the brain into producing that phony ‘productive’ pheromone that makes you feel all accomplished inside. ‘Same work got done? But it got done over there, after you put some effort into getting to this arbitrary other place? Well done, sir. Please take some serotonin.’ this is my brain at 6 pm after coming back from work, regardless of output. But hey, the view could be worse. Thanks for sticking in there.

See you tomorrow,

Nick